President Jacob Zuma has gone and done it.
Like a 90s Chuck Norris movie, the president of our beloved South Africa has gone and taken his last stand.
We are always told that it is the president's prerogative to hire and fire ministers at a whim, but every time it happens, we are left with gaping mouths and a bad case of PTSD.
And we never get used to it.
Because deep down inside, where hope still lives, we think he would not do this to us. Not again.
Not after the dramatic four days in December 2015 when then Finance Minister Nhlanhla Nene was dropped and replaced with the oh so wonderful Des Van Rooyen.
And yet Zuma dared, so spectacularly in one of his middle of the night announcements, that had the country on guard.
He chopped, changed, stirred and mixed his Cabinet at midnight.
And he probably went right to sleep while the rest of us did maths that did not add up trying to come up with valid reasons for this upset.
These esteemed ministers went from attending a Cabinet meeting on Wednesday, probably passionately briefing about their various portfolios, to standing on the side of the road with their office knick knacks all boxed up.
All this without so much as a Dear John letter for some of them.
Because we live in a country where it is okay for ministers to find out with the rest of the country that they no longer have a job.
Apparently ministers don’t deserve the courtesy of even a Donald Trump “you’re fired” in this democratic South Africa.
The president has showed the country who is boss, and this is just the beginning.
With two years left of his presidency, these late nights guarding the country might just become a norm.
And we must just get used to it.
So come on baba, reshuffle us, we are your Cabinet. We are your deck of cards Gedleyihlekisa, shuffle us well.
Chop us, dear Msholozi, we are your soggy vegetables.
Marinate us, spice us, Babes We reshuffle, we are your lamb chops.
Abuse us, baba ka Duduzane, we are your voters.
And our memories are long.
This time political sentiment, the narrative of “Mandela’s ANC”, might not be enough to keep the average voter from straying away from the ruling party.
The road to 2019 starts now. In fact, it started at 12.15 am when the presidency gave us the list of his new ministers and in the process fired Pravin Gordhan, Mcebisi Jonas and other ministers.
- Thulani Gqirana is a parliamentary reporter for News24.
